Yur orbs died
(IMPORTANT NOTE- This story is fake and a parody. I made this completely out of venting and boredom, so just to let you know, many characters are kinda out of character, many cliches will be used. No exceptions. So I hope you laugh at this trollpasta, and I just hope some big youtuber hits this trollpasta up, and if they do, I want to thank them for showcasing my horrible story that I made in a whim, so that I can improve.)
I swear if you want to play Fire Emblem Heroes, download the real app from Intelligent systems and Nintendo on Apple's App Store or Google's Play Store because I ended up getting an haunted app. here's my story
I became an intern at Nintendo in the year 2017, and I enjoyed my job, however on Friday, one of my female coworkers left her phone on her desk. (We will call her Sally.) and before she went to buy herself some lunch at Dairy Queen, I called her and let her know that she made an mistake and almost left her phone. She thanked me, and gave me her brother's old iPhone 7 since he got the iPhone X on his birthday. I thanked her, as she left I noticed her brother's phone had "fire emblem heroes 2" on it, it was an strange sight, because IS(abbreviation for Intelligent systems) and Nintendo never announced that they were making a sequel for their mobile app. I was very curious though, so I went straight home and started playing.
The app started out pretty normally, there was Sally's brother's team(Consisting of an Legendary Hector, an Performing Arts Azura, Marth and Brave Lyn), everything from the first game were present, and it was mostly good, but the story was completely different, it was called Book X. It started out the brother's team and Fjorm(For reasons I don't really want to know.) reading an letter written by Sharena, however nothing was really noteworthy about the letter except for one line written "My brother seemed to be quiet today. I don't really know the real reason, but Lyn thinks he has an thing for our Commander." The normally sweet Fjorm suddendly got upset and said "Damn, does that bitch really think she can steal my man?" Lyn started crying which I think is really out of her own character, especially since in her game, Blazing Blade, she was very compassionate, cares for others and willing to talk instead of fight, but- I don't think she ever cried. "Hey Fjorm, it's not like Prince Alfonse hadn't forgotten about yo-" The Niflian princess punched the lady of the plains, sorta like how Sumia punched Chrom in Awakening, but it was in some realistic fashion. "Huh, that was strange." I said to myself. Fjorm spoke once again, but this time she adressed Marth, Azura and Hector. "Everyone, please help me with this nonsense, or I swear, I will impale your tummies, bitc-" The screen cut to black and played the E3 trailer for Super Mario Odyssey. "I didn't know Intelligent Systems and Nintendo decided to make an crossover seasonal event, I guess I should recommend it."
When the trailer was over it went straight to the map, which is an conviently designed Opera House map from Performing Arts, however instead of the usual four unit setup, it was six units(The Akrian royals, and Sall's brother full team), it was like Rival Domains, but a bit different. Fjorm and Anna were standing face to face on another area of the map. "Are you happy that you stole a man away, Commander?"
"I didn't steal him away from you." The merchant said. Fjorm spoke again "We are gonna settle this. If I win, I get to confess to Alfonse and you will have to wear an bloody outfit. And if you win, you will have to confess to him and I will wear said outfit. Deal?" "Let's do it."
Anna and Fjorm got into an scuffle, and the battle began, but all but Alfonse and Sharena were at 25% health left, before I could let Hector defeat an enemy, an Summer Corrin ran toward the screen, her face began to twist. Soon after the battle ended and I went on the homescreen, every chibi sprite began to enlarge onscreen, though Legendary Hector enlarged so much that his sprite covered up the screen. The game crashed and the iPhone 7 turned off by itself. It then turned on again and Fjorm's sprite was covered in blood and is opening a tresure chest, only to caught by the summoner. "Don't think I would let you off easy, princess." I was very scared, shaking and crying like a man, never once I heard the avatar talked. Fjorm got up and had Breidelblik in her left hand and gave the summoner her "the reason you suck" speech. "I thought you will always be on my side, I trusted you, but no, you had to leave the work to Lord Hector, Lady Lyndis, Princess Azura, Prince Marth, Commander Anna, Princess Sharena, Prince Alfonse, and Princess Corrin and help save your ass while I was left in the dust."
"What happened with you Fjorm? I'd never replace all of you, I'm a nice guy! I'll even send home a bunch of peo-" Fjorm put her left index finger on the summoners mouth. "Hahaha...silly Ben(Ben is short for Benny, Benny is the brother's name), I killed them all, and I'll do the same to you." She fired Breidelblik and aimed it at Ben. "Good night, sweet prince." Fjorm shot the guy in the head, and Ben fell dead. It cut to an poorly made and spelled game over screen that said, "Yur orbs died!!!!1!!!" then it played the credits and the game closed itself. I uninstalled the app and drove to an pawn shop and sold the iPhone 7 out of fear and sadness.
In the end, I told Sally and Benny what happened when I was playing the haunted game, Benny said "Meh, I don't believe that would happen in the actual game. In fact, it was some weird rom hack that I found on the App Store. I thought it looked suspiscious, so I idn't really bothered with the game and just played the real deal."
"I came around and saw the cursed game, and reported to the staff. I'm sorry you had to go through that, Victor."
Once Sally and Benny left, I started to play the offical game, and I never saw the cursed sequel ever again.
Moral of the story: Don't get rom hacks on the App Store or the Google Play Store, and support the offical release